Tuesday, 2 August 2011

Downfall of graduation: my friends have moved away.

I had a serious heart to heart with my boyfriend yesterday, and I realized that many of my friends have either moved away or have graduated. Leaving me to be friendless. Let's repeat: friendLESS. How did this happen? I don't have any Gleeks around me. No one to watch musicals with. I'm alone.

And I've come to you all for help. Because I really need advice on how to meet and become friends with new people.

I know, I know. I'm the blogger. The one that is technically supposed to be the bucket o' good advice. But I have begun to realize there's no one around me who likes show tunes that I can hang out with any more. No more Marry Poppins singing fest. And, honestly, I see little point in going onwards without a bloody sing-a-long.

Is it possible to make friends at my old age? 
(I ask this to the void, age 22, while clinging onto a wooden cane)

How does one do this? The wikiHow page states:
Join an organization with people who have common interests.
My interests include baking, cooking, watching musicals, art, and petting cats. 

Join a sports team.
My hand-eye coordination is either non-existant or inexplicably hates me. I only play one sport, tennis, and it's rained for 47 days straight where I live.

Talk to people. 
I'm actually very sociable. Once I start talking, it's very easy for me to channel something of common interest between myself and that person. Though, for some reason, it does not often lead to being friends. Rather, acquaintances. 

Initiate a get-to-gether. 
Now, I think this is where I fail. Miserably. For some reason, I always seem to fall short at this important step.

Readers, if anyone wants to help me out, it would be greatly appreciated. How do you initiate a get-to-gether with someone you've just met? How do you know if that potentially new "friend" really does like you? Do you initiate the next get-to-gether? Do you text them saying, "That was fun. Let's do it again!"

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Graduation has left me with few friends. And it's bizarre to be this way considering how sociable I am. If I can have just one friend who is a Gleek - just one, I'd be happy for a very long time. Though, this might just have to remain my boyfriend's role (yes, my awesome bf, who I watch foreign films with all the time. Warning - never watch film called "Zebraman" because the title sounds funny).

© Li Chan


  1. Real life friends are overrated. Internet friends are where it's at.

  2. Why don't you live in BC?

  3. I'd sing Mary Poppins with you if I could!

    I really don't have any advice but I totally understand how you feel... It's the same for me where I won't be training with my longtime teammates anymore, and really they're the only friends I have! I'm hoping to meet some new friends at school and in the hospitals, as well as on the varsity team..

    And hurray for internet friends!

  4. I'm sure when you start med you'll easily find new friends. After all, you'll have similar interests to go off of.

    And yes, yay for internet friends! Y'all rock.

  5. Cerena, I'm in the same boat as you! My amazing circle of friends literally all moved away this year. (stupid military making people move)
    Combine that with a BF all the way across the country, and this usually overly social girl is now craving human company of any kind!

    My friendship advice is that it's sort of like dating. If you meet an acquaintance that you think may be a potential friend, then take a risk! Invite them on a friend "date", and don't be afraid of rejection. I've been in this situation before because of how much I have moved. You may have to endure a few duds, but there are lots of girls (and boys) out there who are seriously lacking a Cerena in their lives and just don't realize it yet :)

  6. Your post is very much appreciated, larva. Very much so. You are right, I think fear of rejection is a big part of it. How do you get over it? Do you just sort of gather all the courage you can and just say, fine I'll take a risk?

    And I always struggle with the follow up. So scared that these new "friends" will just bail on me.

    I'm sorry to hear you're doing long distance with your BF. But, from what I've heard if your relationship is strong than you can make it through anything.


  7. I also suffer from fear of rejection, but trying things out with a new friend or group of friends is a lot better than feeling lonely!

    I also think the follow-up is the hardest part. It is totally like dating. (is it too soon to call? should I wait for them to initiate the second "date"? did they seem to like me?) The worst is when two semi-shy people are trying to become friends. You're both sitting at home wishing the other one would make a move!

    I've been on both sides of this equation, the one being harassed by a new "friend" and the one making the calls. I still say just go for it. If people don't want to keep hanging out with you they will either make excuses or send signals. If you're perceptive it's easy to tell when you're getting the cold shoulder! Some things just aren't meant to be ;)

    And distance isn't so bad...we just passed the "we've been apart as long as we were together" mark, but I'm feeling like our relationship is stronger than ever. So, yes, with love/skype/texts/unlimited long distance on your side anything is possible!!

  8. Haha @ the thought of two shy people making friends. I used to be painfully shy and it was torture. You are right, though. I just need to suck it up and go for it.

    Glad to hear your relationship is still going strong! The Internet is on your side now, making it easier :)

  9. U can be my friend.


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